” Listen a Hundred Times, Ponder a Thousand Times. Speak Once!

~Source Unknown~

ListeningI think it’s fair to say, a lot of us would consider ourselves to be great listeners. However I would hazard a guess that some of us get this confused with hearing, which is simply receiving communication rather than truly listening.

Listening is “really” paying thoughtful attention to what is being said and understanding the complete message being delivered.

Being a good listener will require you to do more than just hearing someones account. As a Networker, if you’re prospecting offline (body to body as they say ), active listening will require you to maintain eye contact and watch the persons body language while listening.

When communicating by phone you’ll still need to pay just as much attention to what is being said. In both situations it is preferable that you listen…and don’t talk. When you sense a gap simply prompt by asking another question or ask for clarification if you’re not exactly sure what they mean.

In either case it’s a good idea to take notes, jotting down the key issues and problems you hear during the conversation. Doing this will serve you well in two ways, either as a point of reference or clarification during your meeting or when summing up their needs at the end of their appointment or call.

Having this ability to quote a list of points you have picked up along the way will not only help you build rapport, it will quite often leave your client amazed you were able to recall so many key issues…clever you! :-)

Just for fun, lets cover some of these key headlines:

” Argue less and Listen More”…in other words, learn to argue less with the people who are potentially going to be helping you pay your bills and listen more. Whether you think you’re right or wrong, simply responding respectfully and adjusting to their feedback will leave them way more satisfied.

“Be Interested rather than Interesting”…how can you listen carefully if you’re too concerned with being  interesting yourself? If you want people to cooperate with you, to like you and open up to you…you must be interested.

“Ask lot’s of Powerful Questions”…this would have to be one of the most effective ways to establish rapport and create a feeling of connection with another person.

I’m now going to share four such questions with you that Dan Sullivan teaches to his students in his “Strategic Coach Program”:

  1. If we were meeting three years from today, what has to have happened during that time for you to feel happy about your progress?
  2. What are the biggest dangers/difficulties you will have to face and deal with in order to achieve that progress?
  3. What are the biggest opportunities that you have that you would need to focus on and capture to achieve those things?
  4. What strengths do you think you will need to reinforce and maximize, and what skills and resources will you need to develop that you don’t already have in order to capture those opportunities?

Dan has some excellent books and audio programs at his website: www.strategiccoach.com

After asking this series of questions you will quite often find that people have taken themselves through a process of clarification and afterwords quite often gain a great sense of clarity and relief after having heard themselves answer them.

Unfortunately a lot of us, myself included, have a tendency to jump in and try to problem solve right then and there. Try not to do this, as all you will be doing is interrupting their process of self discovery by not listening.

If you can manage to ask these questions to potential team members, once they have  answered, you will know whether or not there is a basis for a future business relationship. You’ll also be able to discern whether or not your products or services can help them achieve their goals.

If you find they don’t want to answer these questions, they’re probably not t he type of person you want to do business with anyway.  One final suggestion: Make sure you go through these questions yourself, either alone on a piece of paper or verbally with a friend or mentor…It’s a valuable exercise.

To Your Mega Success,

Friend Me!

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